My grandmother was quite a woman. At 89 years old she had more life and spirit than most people I know. Water excercise in the am, cards with the girls, ushering in the broward, time for everyone, and still drove herself. She would come every other weekend to my mom, so she could spend time with Ziah. What a special bond they shared. To me losing your Mom is like losing an extension of yourself. They made us. I don’t think in a year you can anticipate your grief to end. You still feel, love and miss that person…and want them with you.

My grandma “Barbara Trudie” lived her life the way she wanted, of course she would die the same way. She would say….no fuss. She died the same day. I was alone with her when she took her last breathe. It was very hard to explain to a 3 year old where she had gone. That there will be no more new memories. She is really gone and we will not see her again, but she will always be in our heart. I wish for my mom to get to the point that she can remember the good times without the pain of her absence. When memories won’t make her sad. When she can think or speak of her and smile instead of ache.

She was an amazing woman, a spitfire, so stubborn…just like me.

If you are watching over us, or can hear me…

You are missed, and reminded of often.

i love you barbara trudie.

6 Responses to “one year…”

1. Tami says:

   March 25, 2010 at 2:44 pm

   Wonderful images… I wish I had photos like these of my grandma.
2. Brigette says:

   March 25, 2010 at 2:54 pm

   Sam, so beautiful, but made me cry.
3. RACHELI says:

   March 26, 2010 at 9:10 am

   I AM SO PROUD OF U! AND SO IS BOTH BARBARAS…I AM SURE! U MADE ME CRY WHILE COOKING AND IT’S NOT THE ONION..I KNOW…
4. Nava says:

   March 28, 2010 at 3:52 am

   Crying here too..so beautifully conveys her youthfulness!
5. barbara says:

   April 15, 2010 at 10:02 am

   wherever we traveled, others would marvel at the, ” four generations”.
   there are no words to express how much i miss my mom. the void it has left in my being.
   trudles was a very special person – independent to the last.
   the memories and deep love are all that r left to us now we will treasure them always.

   samantha, i do remember the good times with happiness and thanks but the pain of loosing my mom ,
   your grandmom, ziahs great grandmom will always remain.
   thank you for caring and thank you for u.
   ema
6. Jeffrey says:

   April 15, 2010 at 10:09 pm

   I miss you mom and think of you every day. You are with me all the time. Your youngest