life:stories...
Life – What I would tell her
April 9, 2010 ~ Ziah my love
I have had so much on my mind lately, busy with work, so much going on. I haven’t really be in tune with myself or my surroundings. The last few months, since the New Year I’ve been thinking about what I’m meant to do in this world…deep down I feel that I’m meant to do more, I just don’t know what. I have so many things I want to do and see.
Like everything else in my life…I make lists….I even have a photo bucket list …places I want to go, techniques I want to master that one perfect shot….So much to do, seems like so little time.
Today it finally came to me….the question that is.
Am I living my life or just existing in this world…I feel like I am going through the motions but with no real pleasure. I am more than this…This isn’t how my story goes.
I want to be more present, Ziah you are growing up so fast….slow down. This past Funday, which was Wednesday, last day of spring break, couldn’t have been any better. I look at you in awe, and wonder if what I did before I had you. You fill my world up. I don’t know where to start…long kisses, eskimo + butterfly, your knock knock jokes, tiny quick steps, your amazing behavior + manners, truly made momma proud…5 stars. I want more days like this.
I think being a grown-up is overrated. What is so bad about having fun and being silly? For some reason people feel they have to act a certain way once they turn a certain age. But, life should be fun, not always so serious. So, I feel it is important to find a good balance between your inner child and your adult self. I sometimes take things too seriously, so I want to find a good balance.
It’s not what you do once in a while, it’s what you do day in and day out that makes the difference.
Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories, learning from the past, and realizing people change as do you.
Always remember that everyone is born an original, and your fun is only limited by your imagination.
A few months ago I was happy to open a fellow photographers blog that I follow Deb Schwedhelm that displayed a video created by Katherine Center for the Mom 2.0: Defining A Movement (click on mom 2.0)
Defining Moments: It says the things that I would tell you one day…:
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WHAT I WOULD TELL HER:
(If I knew what to say.)
You are a miracle.
And I have to love you this fiercely: So that you can feel it even after you leave for school, or even while you are asleep, or even after your childhood becomes a memory.
You’ll forget all this when you grow up. But it’s okay.
Being a mother means having your heart broken.
And it means loving and losing and falling apart and coming back together.
And it’s the best there is. And also, sometimes, the worst.
Sometimes you won’t have anyone to talk to.
Sometimes you’ll wonder if you’ve forgotten who you are.
But you must remember this: What you’re doing matters.
And you have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.
The truth is, being a woman is a gift. Tenderness is a gift. Intimacy is a gift. And nurturing the good in this world is nothing short of a privilege. That’s why I have to love you this way. So I can give what I have to you. So that you can carry it in your body and pass it on. I have watched you sleep. I’ve kissed you a million times. And I know something that you don’t, yet:
You are writing the story of your only life every single minute of every day.
And my greatest hope for you, sweet child, is that I can teach you how to write a good one.
Ziah Papaya…this is your story. I am just happy to be along for the ride.
I look forward to everyday, even when you are cranky.
Never change who you are, always be true to yourself. Live life, love alot, and laugh till you cry…
Love you forever + ever
Ema
So sweet! She is such a special little girl. I’ve only known her for a few months, but she has that kind of personality that makes you fall in love instantly… wonder where she gets that from, hehe
I feel lucky to have met you both!
we love you too.
everyone you meet in your life…is for a reason.
it’s the ones you choose to keep that make the difference.
Love you both so much.
You are a formidable woman and an amazing mother.
I chose a long time ago to keep you.
And now…
I am so proud to have you in my world.
xoxox
Being a parent is the most rewarding hardest job I’ve ever had. I’m in awe too and the feeling never leaves. The molding, the loving, the precious moments. Life is good… it’s our choice. For me it’s not so much about the day to day but the moments to moments enjoying what is in front of me, what’s given to me in that minute. All the moments strung together make the day. And slowing down time and looking at the moment is the hardest thing to do.
Miss you! Hope to see you this week!
cindy i will see you tomorrow at 10 am…..I CLEARED MY SCHEDULE FOR YOU. I CAN’T WAIT.
“The truth is, being a woman is a gift. Tenderness is a gift. Intimacy is a gift. And nurturing the good in this world is nothing short of a privilege. That’s why I have to love you this way. So I can give what I have to you. So that you can carry it in your body and pass it on. I have watched you sleep. I’ve kissed you a million times”
to quote a quote –
sam u r a woman – sometimes i still see my baby and i wonder where the time went. i treasured all your moments and i treasure my time with ziah — so very much.
i love you
ema