It took me a long time of trying to find myself to finally realize that I already am the person I wanted to be. One thing that helped was my travels. I left the states when I was 15, and didn’t look back. High school in Israel, vagabonding through Southeast Asia and Europe, working in Japan for five years all the while trying to figure out what I want to be if and when I grow up. I wandered from place to place, making to do lists (this month, this year, 5 year plan….) Being around so many other cultures and ways of life confirmed there is no one right way to live and that it’s OK to be different. It’s not that easy, unless you live a remote island where there is no way to communicate. Buy some earplugs…because everyone has an opinion. All of a sudden family, friends, even strangers know what is best for you. Settle down, work from 9-5 because you will have benefits, meet a nice guy / girl, get married, buy a house…..pop out some kids….does this sound familiar….there is nothing wrong with this. I am sure it works for many people. I on the other hand have seen many of these end in a horrific battle of scorned egos.  It is a lose / lose situation. That person that you loved so much and couldn’t wait to say “I do” is now public enemy # 1. What a waste of time and energy, and if there are kids involved what are you teaching them….nothing good. Not a very good role model.

When I moved back to the States at age 26, my 5 year plan read something like this:

buy a house

got to school

open a business

get in better shape

get married

sounds easy…and it was. Everything but the getting married part. Often I wondered is he the one, can i spend the rest of my life with this person,  maybe  I’m  not the marrying type, am I too picky, what is it…..I have so much love to give…..I don’t want to be alone….but I also don’t want to be with just someone.

It is sad to say but society teaches us to live in fear….fear of failure, fear of not being accepting, fear of being alone, i can go on and on….instead of fear why don’t we embrace the unknown, follow our dreams, stop worrying of what might happen to you, go with the flow, listen to yourself.

I tried to come back and live the life that we all think is the “good life“. Convincing myself that once I finish school , once I start working, once , once , once things will be different.

No this isn’t how my life is going to be. I am putting a stop to it right now.

I realized I am not as happy as I can be…time for a new adventure.

I am going to attach what I wrote today…..+ my about me page…..if you don’t feel like you’ve known me forever, then maybe I am not the right one for this adventure. I am a photographer…so I am going to attach not just what I look like, but more so what I see……and how I see it. I hope a pdf is good for you. I am on a MAC and like to use pages. If you still want a word document just let me know. Just to let you know…i ordered the workbook last night, but just your blog / video  and whenigrowupcoach.com in less than a day got me here. Thank you so much already.

-sam

who am i…

June 15, 2010

being a child….

i can feel it like it was yesterday, but reality is that it was many many years ago.

where has the time gone.i can remember so clearly the history of my youth. watching my daughter, i get flashbacks of me at her age. i love it.

it’s funny how remember most of the good and block out the bad.

when i was young….i was always waiting…

waiting to ride a 2 wheeler….waiting for my tooth to fall out….waititng to get my liscense…ok so i didn’t wait…i got it in the next state @ 16…..then fake id. i was good at not having to wait…always found the loop hole to expidite the process.

in reality why was i in such a rush…..where was i going…..at 15 i was given the oppurtunity to run away.

Being that I was super bored in high school….I needed more,so one that was 7000 miles away was perfect. Little did I know that this would be one of those life changing moments…that year changed my path. and I went happily never looking back. I truly believe certain people and moments alter your life.

This was a big one….bigger than my parents getting divorced, switching schools……

Not only did it teach me that americans are a spoiled nation who live way beyond their means, and truly don’t know what it means to live life. They are too busy trying to keep up with the Jones’s.

who knows who I would of bee , where I would be if I would of returned to the states to finish high school.

would i still be a single mom, almost 38 years old ? a photographer ? world traveler?

when i was freshman i took a commercial arts class, mind you pre computers… i received a D+….

my mom (WHO IS A VERY CREATIVE PERSON)  told me i didn’t have one creative bone in my body.

(oh wait is there a bone in your tonque). Now 20 years later i still don’t like to color, draw, or paint. I do however like to take photos, and design on the computer….and finally after so many years of wanted to learn how to sew + 10 years of collecting vintage fabrics…..i am doing it.

So yes i would say I am CREATIVE…..

I believe that living like a vagabond and traveling around the world really opened my true me.

It helped me become the person i needed to be.

Japan and everything in it is probably the biggest influence on how i see what i see.

The world is such a big place….why would i want to go to the moon when i haven’t seen all there is to see on earth.

I have friends that i grew up with in Jersey….that have never left the Tri- state area.

there is nothing to be afraid of….embrace it….it helped me understand myself better.

i feel out of tune, like a guitar.

THE GREAT DEBATE….on destiny.

is our destiny already written for us in life?

if so then by changing your path…do you alter your destiny?

lately i have been thinking alot about my life…

i am ziah’s mom. i am sam i am photography…..but what happened to me?

where did i go?

I got lost somewhere between potty training and my 3rd year of Sam I Am photography.

I feel trapped and alone.

Don’t get me wrong, I love both of those roles in my life and wouldn’t change them for the anything in the world.

I just want, no actually need to reconnect with me.

i am a fighter…it’s is part of who i am / my dna… like a 2nd skin.

The school of life taught me well.

Our life is what we make of it.

probably the last 10 years I haven’t been able to sit down and read. I don’t know why.

I can scan over a magazine….browse other peoples blogs…..

in reality my life is my movie. no need for reality tv.

until yesterday i couldn’t pinpoint  what it was….i need to go and explore and reconnect with the me.

the me i was when i was traveling, and i want my daughter to expierence this too.

true adventures start with  desire, an inclination to enter the unknown.

I have decided to take ziah and just go for a year. When i was traveling i met so many families who did this. I promised myself i would….and here i am at the beginning

Preparation Stage Begins….

I know this is the right thing and the right time. the talmud says you start to see things not as they are, but as you are. I haven’t felt something so right in a very long time. I am excited……

ME  /  MYSELF / + / I

quotes to live by

be thankful.

dream big.

and never give up.

- nick vujicic

discover your passion and go for it.

love what you’re doing.

be happy.

have a greater purpose.

and you will never look back.

-unknown

One of my favorites

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living,

It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.

Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life’s realities”

–Dr.Seuss

Doing what I do, takes me back to different parts of my childhood. Things I haven’t thought about in years, like it was yesterday. I am talking about things that happened 20 yrs ago. Childhood is a beautiful time! We don’t really appreciate it till much later. My grandmother told me many years ago “youth is wasting on the young”….Now at 37 I get it ( at 10 yrs old not so much).

I think kids should be able to play, not driven around from activity to activity. They need time to imagine, explore….make believe. Be outside. In *my* day, we played until our parents told us to come home for dinner or when it was dark. I know our world is a different place today than when we were young, and this saddens me.

Am I just trying to hold on to my childhood….to a simpler world….

Being a photographer allows me to relive my memories, by recreating them for you and your children.

So I must thank you as well.

Happy Mother’s Day

xox

samantha

Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood. – Fred Rogers

April 9, 2010 ~ Ziah my love

I have had so much on my mind lately, busy with work, so much going on. I haven’t really be in tune with myself or my surroundings.  The last few months, since the New Year  I’ve been thinking  about what I’m meant to do in this world…deep down I feel that I’m meant to do more, I just don’t know what. I have so many things I want to do and see.

Like everything else in my life…I make lists….I even have a photo bucket list …places I want to go, techniques I want to master that one perfect shot….So much to do, seems like so little time.

Today it finally came to me….the question that is.

Am I living my life or just existing in this world…I feel like I am going through the motions but with no real pleasure. I am more than this…This isn’t how my story goes.

I want to be more present, Ziah you are growing up so fast….slow down. This past Funday, which was Wednesday, last day of spring break, couldn’t have been any better. I look at you in awe, and wonder if what I did before I had you. You fill my world up. I don’t know where to start…long kisses, eskimo + butterfly, your knock knock jokes, tiny quick steps, your amazing behavior + manners, truly made momma proud…5 stars. I want more days like this.

I think being a grown-up is overrated. What is so bad about having fun and being silly? For some reason people feel they have to act a certain way once they turn a certain age. But, life should be fun, not always so serious. So, I feel it is important to find a good balance between your inner child and your adult self. I sometimes take things too seriously, so I want to find a good balance.

It’s not what you do once in a while, it’s what you do day in and day out that makes the difference.

Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the   memories, learning from the past, and realizing people change as do you.

Always remember that everyone is born an original,  and your fun is only limited by your imagination.

A few months ago I was happy to open a fellow photographers blog that I follow Deb Schwedhelm that displayed a video created by Katherine Center for the Mom 2.0: Defining A Movement (click on mom 2.0)

Defining Moments:  It says the things that I would tell you one day…:

-

WHAT I WOULD TELL HER:

(If I knew what to say.)
You are a miracle.
And I have to love you this fiercely: So that you can feel it even after you leave for school, or even while you are asleep, or even after your childhood becomes a memory.
You’ll forget all this when you grow up.  But it’s okay.
Being a mother means having your heart broken.
And it means loving and losing and falling apart and coming back together.
And it’s the best there is.  And also, sometimes, the worst.
Sometimes you won’t have anyone to talk to.
Sometimes you’ll wonder if you’ve forgotten who you are.
But you must remember this:  What you’re doing matters.
And you have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.
The truth is, being a woman is a gift.  Tenderness is a gift.  Intimacy is a gift. And nurturing the good in this world is nothing short of a privilege. That’s why I have to love you this way.  So I can give what I have to you. So that you can carry it in your body and pass it on. I have watched you sleep. I’ve kissed you a million times.  And I know something that you don’t, yet:

You are writing the story of your only life every single minute of every day.
And my greatest hope for you, sweet child, is that I can teach you how to write a good one.

Ziah Papaya…this is your story. I am just happy to be along for the ride.

I look forward to everyday, even when you are cranky.

Never change who you are, always be true to yourself. Live life, love alot, and laugh till you cry…

Love you forever + ever

Ema

Custom Photography is something “special”

Custom photography is more of a luxury than your entry level cookie cutter chain experience. Custom photography truly is not for everyone, it requires a level of commitment, investment in time and money, forethought and planning on the part of the subject/client and requires a larger time commitment for the photographer as well.

Clients who enjoy taking a more active role in the creation of their families’ memories have the desire to have portrait art that is truly personalized. These more discerning clients have been known to budget and allot time for a custom photography session. Many clients opt for it to be a once a year special experience, some opt to have custom photography sessions done to record their child’s stages in life. Having said this, it is clear that custom photography is not in everyone’s budget, it is something that most families save for to splurge on from time to time to memorialize their children as they really are (not posed and primped in the cookie cutter studio setting).

There is a great deal of time involved in creating high end custom photography sessions for a client. The luxury of great service, better choices and a supberb end product. The result of all this are heirloom quality images. The time invested at the session is only a small portion of time involved in this process.

Custom photography has been likened to purchasing a fine vehicle. To get to point B from A let’s face it, even a bus ride would suffice. If you want to luxuriate in a finely appointed vehicle, customizing your own experience by listening to smooth jazz while sitting in a climate controlled setting adjusted purely for your comfort in a body hugging leather interior, perhaps that Lexus you so desire is your cup of tea. <!–[if !supportEmptyParas]–>Custom photography is much the same cup of tea. It is the Lexus of the photography world. It is where the intangibles make the experience truly wonderful and the images themselves make the investment of money and time truly worthwhile.

Custom photography can be broken down into even more levels. There are on location, studio, mixed studio/on location, specialty location and destination type photographers. The beauty of custom photography is in the choices and in the luxury of thoses options. The customized service level you are sure to experience will be amazing. The knowledge that your final images are the result of someone caring about those moments so much that they take extra time ensuring that the artwork you receive is good enough to stand by with their name on it. That level of quality and commitment is all but lost in the age of “mass produced,” “mass marketed,” corporate “everyone is a number”. Custom photography is based on being unique to you. How great an experience would be, to be able to sit back and allow a photographer to do this highly custom work for images that you will most likely cherish for a lifetime?

Keep in mind more than anything that the Lexus will never appreciate in value the way your portraits will. The portrait art you become invested in from your custom photographer will no doubt increase in value and become more priceless as the years pass.

Article written by: Marianne Drenthe

Digital technology is brilliant. The digital revolution has brought amazing flexibility and amazing amounts of control for the photographer, the hobbyist, the professional, the amateur. With flexibility comes a price though. Camera equipment is still considerably more expensive when you factor in its’ lifespan, the need for additional resources for processing those images, the time it takes to get a usable image and the effort that goes into all of this.

Even though you pay $1.99 for a print at your local drugstore and paying for film is pretty much a thing of the past (although you still pay for memory) you may be wondering why you may pay upwards of $40, 50, 70, 90 for a custom photography print. Some photographers hear this statement every once in awhile:

“How in the world can you charge $60 for an 8×10 if it costs me less than $2 to print at the local drug store?”

The answer is multifaceted and has a lot to do with the time, aforementioned equipment costs, artistic vision and reputation of the photographer, expertise and the usual costs of running a legitimate business.

TIME of the CUSTOM PHOTOGRAPHER:

Approaching it from a time standpoint, for instance let’s imagine if you will that you have hired a photographer who has work that you love and that is travelling an hour to your on location session. TIme break down:

session prep time (30 mins – 1 hour, includes equipment and back up equipment checks + vehicle checks)
one hour travel time TO session
15-30 minutes prep time at client’s home
90 minutes-2 hours with client photographing subject
one hour travel time FROM session
30-45 minutes uploading time from digital cards from camera to computer
30-45 minutes time spent backing up the original images
2-5 hours editing time to present you with a diverse gallery of edited images
1 hour prep time getting ready for ordering
2-3 hours time with client for ordering images
1 hour sorting through and checking order
30 minutes-1 hour prep time for delivery
30 minutes-1 hour getting order shipped
any additional phone time or time needed for add on ordering, shipment issues, quality issues
As you can see, average client time for a session ranges from just under 13 hours to 19 hours dependent on the photographer’s level of service. This is time dedicated only to your session. When the photographer charges $150-$300 for the photo shoot you are not just paying for the two hours of session time, you are paying the photographer for 12-19 hours complete time for your session.

COSTS of the CUSTOM PHOTOGRAPHER:

Regarding equipment costs, a good quality professional camera with a selection of good optical quality lenses and digital storage mediums and computer set up can run from $10,000-$30,000 costs dependent on the photographer. Even though you can purchase a really good quality digital SLR for about $2100 there are still other costs related to photography. A good lens for portrait photography can run up $900 to $2500. A dependable computer system with software loaded for business and creative usage can run $2500 to $8000 dependent on the photographer.

Then come lab costs for specialty products. A good photographer knows the lab is integral to their success. Photography labs dedicated to the professional photographer often cost more and offer a range of products that allows the custom photographer to continually offer new, innovative products for you, the discerning client.

Discussion other costs of running a photography business could take awhile so we’ll skip the intricate details. There is of course much more: including costs of running the business, taxes, studio rental/mortgage if the photographer has ownership of a dedicated studio, vehicular costs, costs of advertising/marketing, costs of sample pieces that the photographer will likely bring to your session, etc.

APPLES to ORANGES:

Often times clients will mention to their photographer that X studio in the mall/department store only charges $25 for an 8×10 or they may mention other things related to discount photography chains. The fact is those discount chains make their money on volume, not on customized 1:1 service. According to several articles at the time, did you know that in February 2007 a rather well known discount department store that started in Arkansas closed down 500 of their portrait studios across the nation? The reason is simple, you cannot make money on 99¢ “professional” prints if you do not sell enough of them. Interestingly enough – those same studios that offer the loss leader packages often charge much much more for their a la carte pricing (as high as $40-50 for an 8×10). The whole reason the big department stores began offering portrait studios in the first place was to get you, the savvy consumer, in through their door so that you could spend more money with them in other departments. Your “PORTRAITS” are considered the true “loss leader”.

Going to a chain studio, as a consumer, you don’t have the benefit of 1:1 attention for 2 hours at your home where your child is allowed to explore, play and be comfortable in their home environment, nor do you get the experience that many custom photographers are known for or the lovely captures of natural expressions. You simply get a bare bones, “SAY CHEESE” experience. Keep this in mind when selecting a photographer.

REPUTATION/EXPERTISE of the PHOTOGRAPHER:

Being in demand, being well known for quality work, having a good reputation often costs time on the photographer’s part. Their expertise comes at a cost, their time learning their craft and learning the intricacies of lighting and the commitment put forth on their end to create a persona about their business that oozes professionalism. A great number of photographers go a very long time from the time that they purchase their first good camera to making money at the business of photography. Many photographers, when first starting out, rush in thinking that the business will be easily profitable in no time, how expensive could it be to get a camera and use it to create their dream? They often neglect to factor in the cost of business, the cost of equipment, software, back ups, etc..

Being of sound reputation, a better professional photographer knows that they must always reinvest in their business to create the reputation of being top notch. To create good work good equipment, reliable equipment, back up equipment is a necessity. The photographer who desires to be known as better/best/unparalelled reputation-wise knows that the most important thing they can do for their business is reliability and dependability. This is how reputations get built. Good work often is a wonderful side product of building that good reputation.

I hope this (lengthy) article helps shed some light on WHY a custom photographer is a better choice for your family’s memories. The photographs that are produced as a result of the professionalism and dedication that your photographer has will be cherished for a lifetime (or more) and great thought and consideration should be placed into hiring who is right for your family’s most precious investment.

Article written by: Marianne Drenthe

The photographic art you choose to place on your wall is ultimately the result of the vision of the photographer. This vision, coupled with what you wear to your session, the environment, the lighting, even the mood the subjects are in at the time of photographing creates the work that you will want to proudly display on your walls forevermore.

Your first step in the process is more about determining who you are, who your family is and then seeking a photographer that reflects your style. For instance let’s say your family is extremely outdoorsy and loves playing on the beach. You start determining what style you like, browse through photography website portfolios and determine if any of the styles exhibited there would be a good fit with your life and family style. You have already determined that you should probably seek out a beach type photographer (that is if you live near a beach) and then begin narrowing the field down a bit.

Finally after a bit of internet research, you have narrowed it down to two photographers who do what seems like solid work, the sort of outdoor beach look you desire. It is now time to ask yourself: Do you like photographer A’s style over photographer B’s style? Is it because the people in the images of A’s style are having a great time and it seems very caught up in the moment vs. B photographer more posed, looking in the camera images? If this is a case, you probably like LIFESTYLE photography or perhaps even take it a step further and define your desired style as a PHOTOJOURNALISTIC photography style. The photographer you probably should choose is photographer A because their style is very similar to the style you desire.

What custom photography ultimately is all about is choice and experience (as in THE experience). Custom photography is about finding someone who will photograph your family, give you devoted 1:1 attention without worry of the next ‘in line’ or the feeling of a crowded portrait studio. A custom photographer will typically show you a fairly extensive gallery culled to only show the good images that meet the photographers’ creative sensibilities. Often the images are fully edited images-color corrected with blemishes and undereye circles removed. Custom photographers are also known as boutique studios, offering a range of products and unparalleled service. Think Lexus vs. Hyundai, think Nordstrom vs. WalMart.

Custom photography should have you, the client and your experience in mind.

Article written by: Marianne Drenthe

keep trying.

don’t give up.

it will eventually all come together.